Invader Haruhi
by SubZeroGreymon
Summary: the fourth year for the SOS Brigade. We all thought it'll go well... until HE arrived... Invader Zim/MoHS crossover
1. North High's Nightmare

Episode 1: North High's Nightmare!

My name is Kyon. I am a member of a small school club, named the SOS Brigade. Headed by the girl/god named Haruhi Suzumiya, it concerns itself with paranormal activities, like Espers, Time travel, or Aliens. I never had the heart to tell Haruhi this, but the remaining three members are actually an Esper, a Time Traveler, and an alien.

but one day, a new student came to the school, and made our lives one big hell.

He's smart, cunning, and ruthless. He is chaos. He is madness. His name... was ZIM...

... It was the end of the third year for the SOS Brigade. I was playing Mahjong with the Alien, Yuki Nagato. She is an artificial human, created by the Integrated Data Entity for the observation of Haruhi Suzumiya. speaking of Suzumiya...

"THEY'RE COMING!"

Haruhi ran in, with a lot of enthusiasm. "GUYS! They're coming! I've heard them!"

Isuki (The Esper) asked what was on all our minds: "Who's coming?"

and the answer was, "I..."

"... Don't Know..."

6 months later...

Senior Year. The end of High School. Finally. one more year of putting up with Haruhi's antics, then a return to normal life. but this year was to be rockier then the last three combined. and it all started by theses words:

"I am Zim, from East America High. You have nothing to fear from me. just pay no attention to me, and we will get along just fine."

Those words would be the precursor for a year so horrid, I still remember it to this very day... but the words after that spoiled more of it then before.

Zim raised his hand after the Teacher gave a presentation about alien lifeforms, which intregued Zim and Haruhi greatly. and when he was called upon, he said, "suppose there was a, say, full scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be?" this was a basic spoiler, but the teacher ignored him, moving on to other students.

After school, the Same day, Zim got out of school, while we were back in SOS Brigade HQ. well, most of us. Haruhi decided to trail Zim, for some reason...

HARUHI'S POV

The Student known as Zim... an actual ALIEN! Following him back home was not a problem... but he seemed to veer in random directions... like he KNEW I was there, even though I followed him from a distance... wait a minute... now he was running... HE KNEW!

I ran after him at top speed, but he remained ahead of me. He turned to me while running and yelled, "Leave me alone! I just wanna go home and be all normal!!"

But, that didn't deter me. He wasn't getting away... he turned left. I followed... what? HE WASN'T THERE!! ... I'll find him. Wherever he was, I'll find him... I'll find him...

ZIM'S POV

The Haruhi-human wasn't smart enough to realize I ran into an alley, allowing her to miss my location. PITIFUL HUMAN!! It is clear who the superior species is! ... but something's off with her. she's not like most humans. Haruhi Suzumiya... who is she?

She's gone. Way gone. So, I continue my way back home. it's a good thing I kept a homing device on my Home Base, ever since the "Walk of Doom" incident...

Well, I'm home! I looked at my disguised Robot, GIR, and said, "Well, I feel good about how today went."

Then I heard a voice say, "Kurae." in Japan, it means "Found you." I looked back and saw... HER.

HARUHI'S POV

I found him. this was his home base. He panicked and slammed the door. I grabbed my camera and looked in the window.

I muttered, "The day I had prepared for has arrived."

I was just about to snap a shot when... the camera disintegrated.

"Okay... I'm going back to the school to prepare some more. But hear this, Zim. You will be found out. You WILL be discovered. I will find out what you ARE!"

and with that, I ran back to the school.

later...

I slowly walked home, rubbing my head. "frickin' aliens…curse you, ZIM! I swear, I'll get you…"

I passed by somebody who was looking at the newspaper as I walked towards home. Then…

"You don't need to worry."

I stopped. I turned around and looked at the teenager who had just put the newspaper down. Hazel eyes, behind glasses, and underneath a spiky hairstyle, with a sickle-like spike being more prominent, looked at me as a good face smiled gently. "It's all going to work out." The teen said.

"…just relax. Know that you're being looked after. In fact…" The teen spoke up and put his hand on his chest, covered by a blue shirt with a grey eyeball. "You can think of me as your guardian angel…"

With that, the teen smiled and walked off, his long, dark coat trailing behind him. I blinked a few times.

Guardian Angel?

I shrugged and walked on, ending the first day of the most interesting year of my life...

_________________________________

Please R&R!


	2. ShowOff! Guest Starring LOSE!

Episode 2: Show-Off! Guest staring the League of Super Evil!

... My name is Yuki Nagato. I am a member of the SOS Brigade. The purpose was to discover paranormal activity on Earth, and to keep a moderation to the reality distortion caused by Haruhi Suzumiya. up until recently, her power was the only real threat. but now, an Irken named Zim has infiltrated north high with the purpose of conquering the planet... and Suzumiya might be the key...

... It was another lunch period. I was busy consuming a sandwich, when Haruhi, who sat next to me, said, "Look at him, Yuki. He doesn't like the cafeteria food." with that, I simply responded, "Nobody does. That's why I brought my lunch."

Zim, obviously, hasn't learned to bring compatible human food duplicates as his lunch. but he seems to be more interested in that conversation in the corner. Irkens are known for sharp hearing senses, and what he's hearing is obviously interesting.

ZIM'S POV

I hear from that conversation in that far corner the following: "The pet show is on friday", "I'm entering my pet dog there.", "The SOS Brigade might attempt to pass Mikuru as a pet", "I wonder if Zim's going.", "I wouldn't be surprised", "whoever wins will be RICH!", and, oddly, "I like pie."

What by the name of Tallest Irk is "pie"? anyway, Rich? I'm in. I need more monies for GIR's Upgrades.

I leave my table and head for the sign up sheet.

I finally reach it, when I feel a presence. Haruhi. She followed me. "If you're trying to be sneaky, it isn't working, Haruhi-chan."

She pops up from behind a trash can.

HARUHI'S POV

DAMN! How'd he know I was there? Ah, well.

Wait, he's signing up for a pet show that five schools will be participating in. I better sign myself and the SOS brigade up, just in- wait, Kyon, Mikuru, Yuki, and Isuki signed up too?! How com I didn't know that? Ah well.

three days later...

ZIM'S POV

There were some very odd pets waiting in line to be entered. Many of them had come from other planets. Many others were quite questionable whether they could be even called pets at all. Me and GIR were pretty tame compared to some of the other entries.

"So let me get this straight… Your pet's name is "Brick"?" a human in a stupid-looking desk asked upon looking over an application.

"Yes. Brick."

"Let me see this pet," the drone asked.

He set a brick down on the table. "Here he is."

"Wait a minute… Your pet is a brick?"

"Yep," The elderly human replied. "I love my brick."

The guy at the next table wasn't doing much better. "Sir, you can't enter yourself as the pet."

"Why not?" Mikuru asked. "Haruhi uses me like a pet." The guy slammed his head against the table.

"Next!" the first guy said.

We watched the person in front of us step up with his…um…"pet"…

"Okay sir, let me see… This "Doomageddon" is your pet?"

"Yep," The big guy replied.

"Sir, I'm not sure what he even is..."

"What do you mean? He's a pan-dimensional hellhound."

"There isn't even a category for him," the drone protested.

"Just put him under "Exotic Pets". That has got to work."

"Exotic pets are pets from anywhere other then here on Earth. I'm not sure he's from this world."

"He was technically found by us in this world. So, who knows?"

Haruhi whispered. "Wow, the competition this year is just bizarre."

I nodded in agreement. She said, "You're next, I believe."

"Oh, thank you," I replied, stepping up to the table.

The human snatched his application and read it. "GeeEyeArr, huh? weird name. So where is he?"

"it pronouced "Grr", and he's right here," I responded as GIR suddenly appeared.

"Wow…It actually is a pet this time!" the human gasped.

"I prefer to call him a piece of advanced technology," I corrected... wait, what? I actually said that?! DAMMIT!

"Whatever. Either way, he qualifies."

"He does…He qualifies?" The human nodded. I smiled.

THIRD PERSON POV

"Alright GIR, this is going to be a tough competition! This isn't a little contest between Girl Scouts, so just do your best! And if you lose, then your best obviously wasn't good enough!" GIR just continued to stare at Zim and gnawed on something bloody. "Well, at least you've got a snack, so you shouldn't be going out on an empty stomach…wait a minute, I never gave you a snack. Where did you get that?"

"Pepper? Where are you sweetie? Pepper?" someone called from somewhere, looking for their missing pet.

"Well on the bright side, at least she won't have to teach Pepper to play dead," Zim said nervously, pulling the bleeding hunk of flesh out of GIR's mouth and throwing it away.

"Come on, Doomy! Let's go to our seat!" the Big Guy said, dragging Doomageddon on a leash.

an old guy was trying (and failing) to coax his brick to climb the stairs by itself. "Come on, Brick! Up the steps! It's not that hard! Come on, I just did it!"

No one knew where Mikuru was.

"Hey Zim, My pet rabbit, Nimble, and I just wanted to wish you and GIT good luck before the pet show," Haruhi said to Zim.

"Funny, GIR and I were just about to come over to preemptively apologize for kicking your ass in the competition," Zim replied.

"How cute…"

"The competition's about to start! Get back to your place!"

The judge came out and took a good look at who was running before turning to her assistant, Kyon. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious," he replied.

"And what the hell is that right there?" the judge asked. "I can't even tell which one's the pet! They're both so ugly!"

"That would be Red Menace and his pet Pan-Dimensional Hellhound, m'ame," Kyon answered.

"Which one's the hound?"

"The desk dudes didn't specify…"

"What did they specify then?"

"Red calls the hound "Doomageddon"," Kyon said.

Finally, the competition started.

"Alright, so your pet is…"

"Doomageddon. His name is Doomageddon," Red replied.

"Doomageddon, right…So Doomageddon is a Pan-Dimensional Helhound? What exactly is that?" the judge asked.

"A goofball that sees everything around him as prey, for some reason." They both watched as Doomageddon tried to eat a cyborg guy. "See what I mean?"

"Okay…Kyon, examine the…hellhound…"

"I don't want to touch it! You do that!"

"You'll do it if you want to get paid!" she threatened.

"But you're not even paying me anything for this!"

"Just touch the damn thing!" Before Kyon could react, Doomageddon jumped on him and started mauling him.

The next one up was the old guy and his brick. "So, what made you choose an inanimate object as your pet?" the judge asked.

"I don't have to feed it or clean it or take it to the vet. And also I can do this with it," Old Man replied, hurling it at Kyon's shins.

"Fascinating!" she replied while they both watched Kyon writhing on the ground in pain.

Mikuru was waiting at the next table. "How'd you even get in here?" she asked before skipping him over and approaching Nimble and Haruhi. "Hey! KAWAII!" the judge said.

"Thanks!" Haruhi replied, patting Nimble on the head.

They continued on to Zim and GIR

Then, out of nowhere, Doomageddon lunged onto Kyon's head and started biting him. "Ah!! Get him off!! Get him off!! Why is he doing that?!" Kyon demanded.

"Don't know. He must not like you," Zim shrugged.

DOOMAGEDDON'S POV

Rabbit: Food.

Dog: Food.

Half-Metal Guy named "Dr. Frogg" : Food.

"He's looking at me funny again."

THIRD PERSON POV

The next competition had to do with the individual talents of the pets. Red went first. "Alright, for Doomageddon's talent!" He opened up the creature's jaws, and dragged out:  
A giant Tyrannosaur skeleton  
Dr. Frogg reading a magazine  
a second Doomageddon,

"Next!!" Kyon quickly said.

the Old Guy walked out with his brick. "Brick is going to do a trick for you… Speak, Brick!" The brick sat there and did absolutely nothing. "Roll over!" The brick sat there and did absolutely nothing. "Play dead!" The brick sat there and did absolutely nothing. "Sit there and do absolutely nothing!" The brick sat there and did absolutely nothing. "Good boy, Brick!"

"Well that was…kinda disturbing. Next!"

"Disturbing? You just watched a guy drag out food from a hellhound's stomach!"

Mikuru walked onto the stage next. "What the hell is this? I thought we asked security to throw you out! Where is security, anyway?"

"Eww, I don't want to touch her! Her cuteness will rub off on me!" Bonecrusher complained.

"You got a giant minesweeper/robot for security this year?" Kyon asked.

"Yeah. Because he hates money, he works for free."

Finally, an obstacle course was the final round. Doomageddon, Nimble, and GIR were the last ones left. The final round.

When the flag was waved, GIR and Nimble charged at each obsticle, dodging most of the traps that were hidden among the obsticles. the last few were triggered by Doomageddon ahead of time. They were near the tunnel, when suddenly... Doomageddon ate Nimble, leaving Haruhi stunned.

DOOMAGEDDON'S POV

Rabbit: eaten.

Dog: next on list.

Charging at dog. gaining. Gaining. Almost-

Dog: Scary Robot Monster!!! AHHH!

GIR'S POV

Yum... Tastes like Chicken.

I charged at the finish line, when suddenly, Doomy TELEPORTED outta my belly!

THRID PERSON POV

Doomageddon WON?! Everyone was in shock! Whoa!

Later...

HARUHI'S POV

Ah well, at least Zim didn't win... this time. At least, I thought so... but then...

...Zim shouted, "VICTORY!"

I responed, "No. You didn't win the prize."

"I wasn't even trying to! My REAL plan was to make sure YOU didn't win! HAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly, a random water balloon fell on Zim, who reacted by screaming and running. Well, this is going to be one interesting year.

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Yes! My first guest star for this fic! Please R&R!


	3. Zim's New Girlfriend? Part 1

Episode 3: Zim's new girlfriend?! Pt. 1

I am ZIM, Invader extraordinare! My latest mission is simple: Go to Earth, blend into the locals, prepare the planet for the coming madness! But, I have a new enemy. and she is known as Haruhi Suzumiya!

... Another day on earth. local aerial life-forms, called birds, swirl in the sky. small creatures called squirrels run around. and I run for my life from Haruhi Suzumiya. I have no idea why... but she's different from other life here. I have to figure out why.

Today is an odd human holiday. It is known as Valentine's Day. I have no idea who Valentine is, but If he has his own day, he must be very famous. or maybe he's a female, with that smooth dynamic body, that protruding chest- wait, whatamIsaying?! GUH!

Anyway... on that day, I was bored, when a new student came to the school. Her name was TAK. She had dark eyeliner, Purple/blue hair that fell down in locks, and eyes to match. she wore a regular school uniform with black boots that had silver straps. and her introduction was short: "Hi! My name's Tak! I'm new here!"

KYON'S POV

What, no last name? She looks around, her purple eyes scanning the room. Then, she looked at Zim longer then the others, but only by a few seconds. She then sat down at the empty desk between Haruhi and Zim.

HARUHI'S POV

Is she- no. she can't be. is she... FLIRTING with that alien?!

ZIM'S POV

I have seen the human winking at me. I've seen humans do that before, to the opposite gender. I guess she's less intelligent or as ignorant as other humans. Still, I had to keep my eyes on her to assess her as a threat.

A few days later...

Well, as far as I can tell, she was in love with me. however, her way of showing affection was... pain-based. So far, I have been shoved into a toilet, caught singing in my cleansing chamber (how DID she get into my base anyway?) and attacked with meat and hot sauce.

I returned home, to see GIR watching "Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's" on the TV. I was expecting him to ignore me for a while, when he turned to me and said, "You're on FIYA!"

"I am? Ah well." With that, I topped, dropped, and rolled around, then got back up, dusting myself off. "You know, I feel I now know enough about this human affection called "love". And I HATE IT! Our friend, TAK, is as big a threat as I imagined."

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, and I opened the door to find...

"Tak! I'm glad you stopped by, it gives me a chance to end our hideous relationship." I remarked. I pulled a "love note" that read "Kick Me, I'm an Idiot, Love Tak" from my pocket, ripping it up. "So now I can enjoy your shrill cry in having been rejected by Zim!" I remarked, tossing the pieces of the note up into the air.

Tak blinked, raising one eyebrow. "You have got... to be bloody kidding."

"I assure you, I am very serious." I remarked. "Now cry! Cry like you've never cried…before." I finished.

Tak began to, instead of cry, laugh…evilly…insanely. She threw her head back, laughing horribly as an electronic humming noise filled the air. Suddenly Tak and her cat, MIMI's appearance became all static-y, and then…

Their TRUE forms were revealed. Tak was an IRKEN, a female Irken with deep purple eyes and a dark purple outfit with a purple/pink circle in the middle of the outfit. She had antennae that curled up in a square behind her head and a Telekinetic Amplifier in her head, a round device that was grey in color and somewhat small, almost looking like a clip. MIMI, in reality, was a SIR unit who had been modified…it had an overly large claw for a hand, and strange optic sensors.

I, surprised that Tak was my own species, yelled, "You're IRKEN?!"

"You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined." Tak remarked, placing her hands on her hips.

"What?"

"You're a bigger fool than I ever imagined."

"Eh?"

"You're confused." Tak decided. "So allow me to explain." She placed her gloved claws together. "You see, it was 50 earth years ago on the Irken military training planet Devastis…"

"Oh yeah! Now I remember. You're one of those two Double Agents I locked up."

"I was let out early for good behavior."

"and Vez?"

"Still locked up. He seems to have been driven insane, thanks to you."

"Oh. Well, coming back for vengeance will get you locked up, again."

"This is about taking your mission Zim, not revenge!"

I gasped. "You're after revenge!?!" (I didn't know vengeance and revenge were the same thing at the time.

Tak's eyes narrowed. "No! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what is rightfully mine!" She insisted, shoving me back a few feet and then advancing on me evilly. "I should've been an Invader!" She shoved me again. "I should've been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't HAVE to be stealing this planet from you!"

Zim lifted up his robot bee, eyes wide. "You're after my robot bee!!!"

Tak growled angrily. "NO! Listen to me! Listen... carefully!"

I rubbed my chin. "Do I have to?"

"YES!" She snarled.

I nodded my head. "Mmm-hmmm…"

"I'm a better invader than you'll ever be! I blend in perfectly!" She bragged, placing her gloved claws on her chest. "The plan I have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the Tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader!"

"What is this!?! And what is this plan?" I gasped.

Tak laughed.

"Yes, yes, I'm a master of comedy, now tell me this plan!" I demanded.

"Part one involves crippling your base so you can only watch!" Tak laughed. She then shoved him to the floor, her claws clenching as she hissed evilly. "As I ruin your life!" She screeched.

MIMI leapt forward and glared at me, then her head opened up, releasing tiny nano-insects out into the wiring of my ceiling. Electricity surged through the base and I gasped in horror.

"My beautiful base!"

"Part TWO is-"

"NO! My beautiful base! NO!" I cried as a wave of energy went through my base, completely ruining the computer systems.

"Part TWO is-"

"NO! My beautiful base! NO!"

"Part 2-"

"NO!"

"Part-"

"Part-"

"NOOOO!!!"

"Okay, I'm-"

"NO!"

"Okay, I'm leaving now." Tak remarked.

"But you didn't tell me your plan." I muttered.

Tak shook her head and muttered "Idiotic defective." Then she extended her laser/welding tool from her PAK and they BLASTED an ENORMOUS bright green laser beam through the front of the house as GIR leapt away, no longer in disguise. As chunks of flaming base fell down in front of my gaze, Tak hopped backwards through the air as her spider legs retracted into her PAK. She fluidly waved her arm and vanished using a cloaking field.

I stared into the sky. Then I swore to myself, "When I find her again, I will take you off the living record, TAK!"

Meanwhile... on Conventia...

ENFORCER ZAK'S POV

I chased the fugitive for a long distance.

"Hey! VEZ! Just because Tak got out doesn't mean I'm letting you go!"

Vez continued running.

"HALT!"

He didn't stop. I knew where he was going. and He will not get there...

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To be continued... Please R&R! and don't worry, Haruhi wouldn't be ignored next chapter.


	4. Zim's New Girlfriend? Part 2

Episode 5: Zim's new girlfriend?! Pt. 2

My name is Mikuru Asahina. I have been sent from the distant future to observe Haruhi Suzumiya. So far, short events involving her have left memories, but not any permanent damage to the timeline. But with Zim around, I fear the future to be doomed under his iron fist...

... It has been a week since Tak appeared. I walked up to a weenie-shaped hotdog stand…which had a small service window. The stand itself looked like a big, smilin' weenie with weenies for arms. Primitive, but interesting.

I was about to eat one of the hotdogs when... Zim appeared, running for some reason. then I saw why.

The creature chasing Zim resembled a ham-hock gone muscular, with cow-heads for shoulders, thick, gloved hands of three meaty fingers that had a pig's picture on the front, beady red eyes and fangs…

And, for some COMPLETELY strange reason, two red flags sticking out of it's head with the gold words "HAM" written on them. There was also a band-aid on it's head for another strange reason.

Zim faced down the creature after a long and harrowing chase and took up a fighting position, holding up a large laser. "I'm calling you out…" He growled. "FEAR MY FURY!"

He shot the laser through the air but it went clear over the ham demon's head and sailed into a building…

Zim cursed violently. "Frag!" He swore. He fired off another round. This time it actually hit the monster square in the head and, oddly, some PHOTOS popped out of it's mouth, flying into Zim's face. He looked them over and stuffed them in his pocket just as the beast advanced on him and grabbed him before he could fire off another round. It snatched the laser from his hands and tossed it through the air, then slammed Zim into the ground. "ARGH!"

I looked on... surprised that nothing like this was in the historical records.

The monster then picked him back up again and began crushing him in one of it's gloved hands. But luckily Zim was now close to one of the flags in it's head. He grabbed it and swung hard, and it struck the creature square in the face, making him spit out GIR, drop Zim and roar in pain. The being reeled backwards and landed hard, pushing the flag on it's head clear through it's brain, thus making it explode in a small black mushroom cloud.

GIR, who was now standing on his head, made a "Doo-da-doo" triumphant noise and squeaked happily as Zim dusted himself off, getting back up.

"What a horrible adventure with that Ham Demon! Woo!" He remarked. "But, I've made no progress in figuring out what Tak's plan is. The base is still repairing itself, and the only other person with the facilities to find her is…ERRR…" He grit his teeth. "NO! I won't even consider it!"

"Consiter what, Zim-kun?" I asked.

"Mikuru-san! Oh, nothing."

"It's got to be SOMETHING." and then I gave my 'cute look'.

"Not buying it."

"O.K. I think that Tak is some kind of alien with a grudge against me. I have to stop her before something bad happens."

"... Wow."

Suddenly, a giant robotic dog ran by, grabbing Zim, who screamed.

I just simply said, "WHAT THE?!"

ZIM'S POV

Well, the Cyber-Dog let me go... in front of Tak, wielding a giant gun... aimed at me.

Tak simply said, "You're a tough nut to crack, Zim. I almost thought you'd be in the corner of your base, crying, 'my beautiful base...'"

and I said, in sheer determination, "An Invader NEVER QUITS! This planet is MINE to devastate! and I already promised the moon to GIR."

"Ah well. His loss.", Tak replied. Then she held her gun to my face and said, "See you in the Darkness!"

I was doomed... Suddenly, YUKI appeared out of nowhere, and kicked the gun out of her hands, grabbed it in midair, and blasted Tak into the sky.

"ARRGHH!"

I was speechless, as she threw away the gun and walked away. Could she be a humanoid interface?

I looked at her and said, "What are you?"

Yuki looked at me, and said, "Nagato Yuki."

Then she walked away. I was thinking about what she was. and what she might be...

3 days later...

KYON'S POV

Well, Tak hasn't been in here in three days. I turned to Nagato, and said, "Hey, where's Tak?"

She simply said, "I have no information on her whereabouts."

I looked at Haruhi. She was looking at Zim. I wonder what she's thinking...

HARUHI'S POV

Zim has something to do with Tak's absence. and I'm going to find out... one day...

Meanwhile...

ENFORCER ZAK'S POV

Vez was near the spaceport. Then I nearly caulght him by grabbing him in midair. Nearly. Then he turned to me when I crashed, and yelled, "Zim not hiding from VEZ! Vez will find Zim and make Zim pay for ruining Vez's LIFE!"

I knew that Zim will be paying for whatever he did...

Please R&R! Next, Zim's past is revealed!


	5. Laments of an Alien, Part 1

Episode 6: Laments of an Alien, part 1.

My name is Koizumi Isuki. I belong to an organization of people specially tuned to their enviroment. You may call us, "Espers." I have been under orders to keep an eye on Haruhi Suzumiya, but a certan green alien kid may cause some trouble...

... "and those are reasons that Zim is most likely an alien." said SOS Brigade Chief Haruhi Suzumiya. Yuki Nagato, Mikuru Asahina, Kyon, and myself were, to be polite, having mixed opinions.

MIKURU'S POV

Well, Zim is pretty much an alien already.

YUKI'S POV

Zim is an Irken. No more information so far.

KYON'S POV

When will she let this whole thing go?

HARUHI'S POV

NEVER! MUAHAHA! X3

KYON'S POV

Quit breaking the fourth wall! Okay, back to the story-

"GRATHHHHHH!!!"

What the HELL?!

We went to the source of the 'Grath'. Zim...

Haruhi yelled, "ZIM!"

He then turned our attention to us. He must have been hard hearing that, for he simply yelled, "What?"

"ZIM!"

"What?"

"ZIM!"

"What?"

"ZIM!"

"What?"

"Whatever you're planning, You're not getting away with it!"

"...Haruhi!"

"...What?"

I just slapped my forehead.

ZIM'S POV

Haha! Zim confused Haruhi! Zim TRIUMPHS!

SPONTANEOUS FLASHBACK!

I was standing in front of a big sign, listing the identification codes of each Irken Smeet born in the last three days. I found my identification code: (|AN\Z1/V\).

I said to nobody in particular, "I'm SO Tallest Material."

Somebody must have heard me, for I heard someone say, "In your sleep-induced hallucinations. You don't even reach the height requirement."

I turned to the guy behind me. and HE wasn't that tall either. "Says the guy that was created with faulty genes."

"You poor, sad smeet. It's not what genes you come from. It's who you know."

"Oh yeah! Well, who'd you like to know?"

"I'll give you a hint. It's not you."

END SPONTANEOUS FLASHBACK!

Well, Haruhi was certainly not amused. She was looking at me with a malice that froze me in place. Which reminded me of someone I knew once...

FLASHBACK!

It was in Training Camp 56. Some other Irkens (Including the one that insulted me earlier) were standing around. a trio of Female Irkens were busy talking about their friendship, and the one that insulted me was busy punching a wall. I walked up to him and said, "You would probably break your hand on that."

He looked at me, and shook his head.

Then, another, shorter-then-myself Irken walked up and asked me to take a picture of the sun. I simply said, "No, thank you." and then got startled by an "ATTEN, HUTT!"

We stood in a line, and an Irken in bright red-and-black Armor walked past us and said, "My designation is Educator Red. But you shall call me, Red Commander, or Sir. IS THAT CLEAR?!"

We all said, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

He then walked up to a Chalk-White-Skinned and Blue-eyed Irken, while saying, "Each of you has been given via unknown means an ability unlike any other Irken. You shall each demonstrate this Ability and bestowed with a name." When he got to the Irken, he asked him to demonstrate his power.

The Irken's feelers stood on end. and the space between them was filled with a bright blue ball. then, it was hurled at the nearest rock, witch was turned to pure ice.

The Irken was bestowed the name, "Toum." It means "Ice."

Red then moved to the Irken that insulted me before, who demonstrated Inscet Control, and was named... "Vez" (Means "Wasp" in Irken). Then he came to me, and I took control of Vez's arms to make him slap himself. Red saw my conquering potential and decided to call me-

END FLASHBACK

"ZIM!!"

I was surprised, to find... Haruhi with a mallet, looking at me menacingly. I said the best thing I could think of: "Ah, Dlagmot."

and then it all went black.

_________________________________

Subzero: Aw man! Haruhi, you nutbag!

Haruhi: Well, he was ignoring my threats! He deserved it! X3

Yuki: Ex Three?

Subzero: It's a code name for "mischievous".

Kyon: Anyway, Please R&R. We need the reviews!

Itsuki: Yes, that will bring Zim back to life!

Zim: I'm not DEAD!

Haruhi: Quiet You! (Whacks Zim with the mallet again.)


	6. Lament of an Alien, Part 2

Episode 7: Laments of an Alien, part 2.

My name is GIR. I am a advanced mechaniod engineered by Irken scientists. At least, that's what my master says. Our mission is to blend in with the locals of Earth, find a weakness, then bring upon the coming madness. I like madness, but not as much as food. and I also doubt that my master is sane. but hey, I'm not. at least, that's what he said...

...I think that master forgot to breathe before laughing again. for when I found him, he looked unconscious. I wonder what he's thinking. Maybe it has to do with that incident...

FLASHBACK, ZIM'S POV.

I was busy firing on the resistence, when I felt something hit my arm. I looked at it, then yelled, "PLASMA GRENADE!" I panicked, when Vez revealed himself and said, "Dude, It's a FAKE Plasma Grenade. Remember, this is a training mission."

"I knew that."

"Yeah, Like you know your parent was a 'cold unfeeling robot arm.' Idiot."

"It... was..."

"Oh, don't give me that junk."

Then, something I never had the nerve to do before, happened.

I slapped him.

Vez felt the pain, but had no intent of reacting. I just walked away, with a newfound confidence that would follow me for the rest of my life.

Then, I heard something...

"REACTIVATION."

END FLASHBACK

ZIM'S POV

I woke up on the couch. GIR was busy, watching "Lucky Star."

He evidently liked that poorly-made human entertainment unit, commented that, "I love this show."

I actually was sometimes jealous of his happy-go-lucky attitude. Other times, it just got in my way. and yet other times, I attempted to eradicate it. Ah well.

GIR'S POV

My Master. Egotistic to the point of insanity at times. I remember when I first met him...

FLASHBACK, THIRD PERSON POV

Vez, Zim, Skoodge, Tak, and Tenn stood before the current leader of the Irken Empire: Tallest Magna. In the White and Blue armor that the Irkens have come to respect, He inspired respect in the new trainees.

He said to the new trainees, "Congratulations, New Irken Trainees. You have all been asigned to a new unit: Invader. Each of you will be assigned to a Standard Information Retrieval unit."

Each of them got a SIR unit. Vez's was an obediant servant, Skoodge's was fine, Tak's... was different, Tenn's turned out to be a girl, and Zim's... was weird looking. almost like it was a prototype. it said to everyone, "GIR, reporting for duty."

Zim asked, "GIR? Does the G stand for something?"

"I don't know."

"... it's... kinda stupid. Do I have to upgrade the Intelligence center?"

Another SIR Unit in red armor said, in a computer-like voice, "I'm afraid that won't work. You see, GIR happens not only to have a unique body design, but also a simple processor."

"... I get stuck with both a walking arrow sign AND an idiot? and WHY can't I upgrade this Intelligence center?"

"It doesn't have one."

Zim faints out of shock.

END FLASHBACK, GIR'S POV

Yep... good times... until Vez's little stunt.

FLASHBACK, ZIM'S POV

Is Vez crazy or something? One moment, He walked into the same, empty room as I did, being all smug. The next, he's trying to kill me with a plasma knife!

"Vez! What is going on?" I said, trying to make sense of this chaos.

Vez smiled, and said, "You actually sent TAK, an innocent being, to the slammer... for what YOU did. You blamed her for that Maim-Bot Rampage, which you caused!"

"I had good reason. A stupid snack dispenser turned into a robot! I had to kill it somehow!"

"Not a good reason. and for that, I am going to kill you, destroy your PAK, then chop up your body!"

He's lost it... but just as he was about to kill me...

... newly appointed Tallest, Red, walks in.

Vez, smiling, said, "This isn't what it looks like."

END FLASHBACK, ZIM'S POV

Heh heh. Vez. the idiot. He tried to kill me. I hope he's rotting in an alley somewhere on Conventia.

MEANWHILE, IN THE EARTH'S ASTEROID BELT, VEZ'S POV

Zim is going to pay for Zim's crimes...

He locked up Tak...

He rampaged with a Maim-Bot...

And He RUINED Vez's Life!

Vez will have revenge... Yes...

__________________________________________________

There you go! Zim's complicated past. Please R&R! Next, Vez comes to Earth! Zim learns the truth about Haruhi! and... the return of Ryoko?!


	7. The Birds and the Wasps?

Episode 7: the Birds and the... Wasps?

My name is Ryoko Asakura... or at least it used to be. I used to be a Humaniod Interface created to keep an eye on Haruhi Suzumiya... or it was, until an attempt to kill the human named Kyon to make Haruhi react went wrong when another Interface attempted to stop me. She believes I am dead. She was wrong...

... I opened my eyes for the first time in 4.5 years. I was back. back in my old life. back in the "game". I smiled, and said the first word I have said in 4.5 years...

"RYOKO ASAKURA IS BACK!"

Yep. I'm back... wait, did they increase the size of basketballs?

No... I was... Tiny...

Ah well. I'll grow into my old body in a few weeks, if I stay hidden long enough. then, I'll move on to my original goal: Kill Kyon and make Haruhi react. Now, it was night. Dark and stormy. Hopefully, nobody would be here. I could hide under the stands, considering I was in the Gym. Now, I gotta move, before-

SOMEONE'S COMING! I GOTTA HIDE!

I ran as fast as I- wait, run? I could teleport to behind the stands!

That I did. and I hid as long as I could, peeking out to see...

an... Irken? I knew about them: Strange beings that evolved from insectoid life-forms. This one was short enough to fit in with humans of high-school age without attracting too much attention. He also had red eyes.

If an Irken was here... Wait, he's speaking?

"Truely, I am amazing. I was able to escape that horrible "prom" thing alive!"

Wait, Prom was tonight. hm, must be holding it in the new gym.

"Still, I grow bored of this infiltration thing, and grow ever more hungry for the human's demise. Begining with that Kyon."

He's after Kyon as well?!

"Then, I seek out Haruhi, and find out what she is."

I yelled, out loud, without realizing, "OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HARUHI IS A SPONTANEOUSLY MADE DATA PROGRAM!! ... oops."

"EH? WHO SAID THAT?!"

Before I could move... He somehow managed to grab me.

I could only say, nervously, "... hi?"

He smiled, and said, "You'll tell me everything you know about Suzumiya."

"She's believed to either be a spontaneously spawned, technologically created entity, a crack in the timeline, or God herself. She has the ability in manipulate reality based on her innermost desires, but she is unaware of this."

"... wait, what was that last part?"

"She has the ability in manipulate reality based on her innermost desires, but she is unaware of this."

"She's... a Goddian."

"Huh?"

"A race of beings that shift the tiles of reality itself. whoever is responsible for the death of one will receive that Goddian's power. I finally have a chance to rule the universe... and you are no longer useful to me."

"AIEEE! DON'T KILL ME!"

"I wasn't going to kill you. I'm letting you go."

"... you are?"

"uh-huh?"

and so, he let me go, and continued on his way, donning a wig and contacts, probably to seem more human. I wasn't convinced.

He's gone. I am alone for sure this time... or so I thought... until I turned to see...

"NAGATO-SAN! how'd you know I was in here?"

She replied, very simply, "I found out by chance."

Then she stuffed me in her bag and left me. THE NERVE!

YUKI'S POV

I have to hide her. If someone noticed her around, everyone will get curious. I got to the locker, and stuffed her in.

Then, I went back to the party. Zim appears to be in the middle of a cat-fight between Emiri and Tsuruya.

ZIM'S POV

Well, I'm caught in the sights of two human girls. this... well... can be described as awkward.

Then, I came up with an ingenious lie: "I BROKE MY SPINE! AHHHHHHHH!!!"

Both just looked at me weirdly... then looked like they saw something horrible.

Wait, what was that buzzing noise? I turned around... to the ugliest thing ever. it looked like an Irken with wings, a wasp's stinger, and purple eyes.

"What the... do I know you from somewhere?"

It, or rather, HE smiled. then, the beast spoke, with a slightly buzzy version of Vez's voice, "Hello... ZIM."

--------------------------------------------------  
Me: VEZ IS UPON US!  
Zim: SHUT UP, HUMAN!

I asked him, her, IT! ah, whatever. I asked IT, "VEZ?"

It replied, "Name was Vez, once."

"What happened to you?"

"The Author fused Vez with a wasp."

Kyon yelled from the background, "HEY! DON'T BREAK THE FORTH WALL!"

Vez responded with a threatening look. then he looked back at me, and said, "From now on... it's... VEZPER."

I responded with, "Vezzer?"

"It's spelled, V-E-Z-P-E-R."

"That's VezPER."

"The P is silent."

Then, we proceeded to try and kill each other.

THIRD PERSON POV

Everybody was so busy watching the fight to notice a certain, foot-high, blue-eyed/haired girl walk in.

RYOKO'S POV

I have to kill Kyon quick. This will proceed to make Haruhi react, so that I will be able to observe-

The big bug fell in front of me... and opened his eyes.

dot. dot. dot.

I ran out like heck.

VEZPER'S POV

What the heck? Tiny-Girl runs away from Vezper? Vezper may be a freak, but- oh.

ZIM'S POV

"You should not have come back." I said with much remorse.

Vezper reacted by... FLYING out of the ROOM?

"HEY! COWARD!"

Then, he grabbed me and threw me to the ground, then poured Punch on me.

I screamed in pain, as he escaped.

He'll be back... "OWW!!!!! The Pain."

Then, a voice that sounded like Dib-Human's sister yelled, "Whiner!"

Ah well.

LATER, NAGATO RESIDENCE, YUKI'S POV

It was an hour since Vezper's attack. I've deleted the memories of those who witnessed the attack replacing them with a simulation of a typical prom night, and rebuild most school data. And now, I was telling the revived Ryoko that she will be staying with me until her body grows back to full size.

"So, I will be staying with you until then? That's it?"

"That's it."

"Oh. Well, I'm going as soon as I grow back to full size."

"That's fine with me. I'll be in my bed if you need me."

"Okay, night."

"Night."

RYOKO'S POV

Well, this was a day. revived, scared by an Irken and a bug thing, and now this?

Ah well. Still, can't shake the feeling I'm being watched.

MEANWHILE, ON YUKI'S ROOF, VEZPER'S POV

Vezper cannot hide forever... Vezper hazz planzz...

--------------------------------------------------  
Well, there you have it! Please R&R! Next, Ryoko realizes she's not the same interface she was 4 and a half years ago... and a line that will shock the world:

"I! AM! DIIIIIIB!"


	8. The Adventures of Ryoko Asakura

Episode 8: The Adventures of Ryoko Asakura.

My name is Yuki Nagato. I am a humaniod interface charged with the observation of Haruhi Suzumiya. My current situation is keeping an eye on my recently revived back-up unit, Ryoko Asakura. However, something tells me that Ryoko is the least of my problems...

It was at night, on a Friday. I was just reading a book before bed, with Ryoko fast asleep beside me. So, after a while, I took her advice.

shortly thereafter, I woke up, earlier then Ryoko. So, I decided to go out for a short walk.

RYOKO'S POV

I woke up, and noticed that Yuki was gone. Perfect. I can get out of here without her noticing. and she left the door open. Convenient. I'm out of here.

I left with the tiny outfit I had on when I was revived, and an umbrella to reach high places. I made for the elevator.

I left the elevator...

I was out! YES! I was free! Yuki could-

suddenly, I heard a groan from the bush next to me. I looked to find... a guy. My size. My hair color. He looked almost like me. Almost.

I said the only thing I could think of: "are you alright?"

He said, "... barely."

"hold on, I'll get you to the room."

I dragged him all the way back to the room, then put him on a pile of soft clothes.

He simply said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. What's your name, anyway?"

"Ryo."

Then, Yuki walked in. She simply smirked, and said, "am I interrupting anything?"

I sweat-dropped. this is going to take a while...

EARLIER, RYO'S POV

I was running on the tiny legs I have been granted, from the Irken girl behind me.

You'll never catch me...

ZIMA...

---------------  
Please R&R. I bet you're wondering how Ryoko is different. She's tiny. XD.

and now for a life-changing quote: "I AM DIB!"

Bet you didn't see that coming XD.


	9. MMORPG

Episode 9: MMORPG (Mega-nerdy Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Geeks).

My name is Ryo. I am a being from another dimension, as well as a Humanoid Interface. Recently, I got to this dimension, to seek help for my own. I have met up with Yuki Nagato and the incredibly cute Ryoko. but something about Ryoko reminds me of myself...

_**Warcraft World Online Game Matrix. Login page.**_

_Name: RyuRyo22_

Password: DRACONIC

Login complete. Applying helmet. creating virtual environment.

A field in the middle of nowhere. In real life, I'm Ryo. Here, I'm Sir Ryu, Knight of the Dark Emperor! I love this game...

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, KNIGHT!"

What ho? A foe? ... no. Just a green-skinned hobgoblin, sitting in a tree... without a girl.

"It is I, Lord Zimaru, the Deathbringer. You are in my Guild's territories. Come quietly, or prepare to meet thy doom."

I responded with, "Make me!"

He responded with a sinister tone, "If you insist..."

Then, he charged at me.

ZIM'S POV

Why do I feel like this is going to-

Then, one of my Guildlings interrupted me, Engineer Furogu.

"My lord! I found a witch nearby! We should burn her!"

"Well... How do you known she is a witch?"

"She looks like one..."

"Bring her forward!"

They bring forward... Yuki in a witch costume?

She said, in her usual monotony, "I am not a true witch."

"... but you are dressed like one."

"He dressed me up like this."

Furogu then denied that, but mentioned something about the hat.

then, two of my other Guildlings showed up, Valtor and Redd Menace.

I then asked, "What makes you think she is a witch?"

Valtor then screamed, "she turned me into a fish!"

"huh?"

"I got better."

Then, Furogu screamed, "Burn her anyway!"

I said to my Guildlings, "There are ways of telling whether she is a witch."

"Really?"

"What do witches do?

"... They burn up, like.... WOOD! THROW HER INTO THE RIVER TO SEE IF SHE FLOATS!"

"NO! There are other things that float. like a duck for example."

"So, if she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood, which witches are made of! To the scales!"

The three run off with Yuki. I... wait, what was I doing again?

... ah, forget it.

I walk away from the area, to see Yuki get burned. I'm gonna enjoy that.

RYO'S POV

... He just left.

Okay...

Well, I'm out of here.

Suddenly, I hear a maniacal laughter. feminine, by the sound. I turn to find it emanating from... RYOKO?!

Meanwhile, YUKI'S POV

... Apparently, I weigh the same as a duck. I am, as they say, doomed. I get tied to the wooden stake... when Haruhi in a regal outfit appears.

She says, "That girl will not be burned!"

The peasants look at her. Then, one of them says, "Burn her anyway! and that other girl's next!"

Haruhi then yells, "Tsuruya! NOW!"

Then, Tsuruya raises her hand and summons a whirlwind, yelling a cry resembling, "NYAAAAA!!!!"

Needless to say, the wind swept the crowd off it's feet.

Then... out of nowhere...

**_PROGRAM MATRIX CRASH. LOGGING OFF ALL PLAYERS._**

I return to the real world, with Ryo and Ryoko. Ryo complains about this new development.

I note this development, and will see if the game will be fixed. I hope so.

--------------------------  
Please R&R this... short, pathetic chapter.


	10. The Quiz Show of Haruhi Suzumiya

Episode 10: The Quiz Show of Haruhi Suzumiya!

My name is Tsuruya, unofficial SOS Brigade member. Enough with me, on with the show!

... It was dark. We were in a dark autitorium. We were waiting...

The stage door opened. He's here.

Zim-kun.

ZIM'S POV

Well, this is where the transmission mentioned that "Ultimate Weapon" was. If Swindle is trying to trick me, I'm out of here.

Dark. Wow. I can never see in this shadowy place.

Someone just grabbed my hand! Now he's dragging me somewhere. It plopped me in a seat. Whatever was going on-

The lights are on. and I'm... in a theater-based game show? With CAMERAS?!

Haruhi entered. I figured she was behind this.

After her entrance, she took a microphone and said, "It's time for... 'The SOS Brigade Quiz Show'! I'm your host, Haruhi Suzumiya! Today, we have a strong, silent type with a knack for book-reading! Welcome Yuki Nagato!"

Yuki waves to the audience.

"Also, we have a strange young man with an interest in Paranormal Activities! Welcome Dib Membrane!"

DIB-HUMAN?! He's here?!

"In addition, We have a young girl with a great sense of humor! Welcome Tsuruya-San!"

Tsuruya blew a kiss to the crowd.

"And also, we have a young girl with an encyclopedic knowledge of everything Otaku! Welcome Kotana Izumi!"

Whatever.

"And in addition to that, we have... a green guy! Welcome, ZIM!"

I held back on my "I AM ZIM" yell.

"And we have the other guy."

Kyon reacted with, "SAY MY NAME! IS IT REALLY THAT MUCH TROUBLE?!"

Haruhi gave him a look. Then, She said, "Begin the Quiz!"

Her first question was... an interesting one: "Challenge the Big Bang Theory."

Kyon pointed out that it wasn't "local". She simply said, "Shut up. If you want a local question, I'll give you one... after someone answers this one."

I answered that, "Gravity, despite the distance of objects, continues to compress the universe. If the Big Bang actually happened, the world would be nothing but dust floating out in space."

"Good argument. You win the first question!"

"I AM ZIM!!!"

"Next Question..."

She looks around... then notices... Those guys from the pet contest?!

She finished up with, "What is their pet's name?"

Kyon yelled, "That's so random!"

"You have 30 minutes to decide."

"Too long!"

30 MINUTES OF DECISIONS LATER, THIRD PERSON POV

"So, let's hear your answers."

Yuki's decision was "Shiro", Kyon's was "Pochi", Kotana's was "Dave", Tsuruya's was "Rover", Dib's was, "Demon", and Zim's was, "Doomageddon." Yuki was using the alarm button.

"Yuki, You don't need the button."

She turned to the Pet Contest guys (COFF League of Super Evil COFF), and asked for their pet's name. they responded with, "Doomageddon."

She then turned to the players and said the answer was... "Gonzales!"

Kyon yelled, "That's a lie!"

"And the next challenge is... the Tank VS ZIM! Let's see what'll win!"

Zim then yelled, "WHAT?! Who got the tank?!

Haruhi then turned to the League and said, "They did."

Zim then turned to their leader, Voltar, and asked, "Is the tank real?"

Voltar then said, "I am insulted! Everybody loses to real tanks."

Then, a futuristic "Mech-Warrior"ish-tank with two large, anti-aircraft-like guns drove in.

Zim, noticing the obvious differences of the tank from other tanks, sighed in relief. then he talked to the tank, "You're a stupid piece of molten metal, faker!"

To his surprise, it changed into a giant robot, and looked down upon him with a wide red face with a gap-toothed mouth, making him look like a certain California governor.

He then yelled, in a Germanic accent, "Ze name iz Blitzwing, insect—remember it! Cause it's ze last thing you're gonna hear before I—"

Suddenly, his face changed into a Jack-O-Lantern-like face, and said, "Bust a phunky phresh move!"

He then proceeded to dance randomly, while "I like to Move it" plays.

Zim walked away, humming. Everyone looked at the nutbag of metal.

Then Haruhi realized something. "I was going to give Zim this lit firework."

Everyone went, "Wait, What?!"

And then... BOOM!!

Outside, Later

Haruhi, Yuki, Kotana, Tsuruya, The League, and even Blitzwing were standing outside the remains of the Theater. Dib and Zim were too busy yelling at each other. Kyon was absent.

Haruhi looked into the sky, and said, "Kyon... I'll never forget you."

Then Kyon rose from the ashes. "I'm not dead."

"You're not? Oh."

Then Yuki used her alarm button. Kotana looked at her, then said, "Look at the mood."

Please R&R... this... ramble.


	11. The Chapter without a Name!

Episode 11: The Chapter without a Name!!

MIKURU'S POV

... It was a mild, spring day. A little on the warm side. I was wandering throughout the forest of cherry trees when... I found Tsuruya. She was standing alone, with her eyes closed. I wondered what she was doing when, out of nowhere, she opened her eyes and screamed, "NYA!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, a whirlwind swept me up, and sent me flying. Past... Zim on the roof?!

ZIM'S POV

Flying Humans. Random. No matter.

Now... I have obtained a strand of hair from Ms. Tsuruya. Now, I can test out my cloning machine. I put the hair in, pressed a button... and the clone came out. Only problem? She was a foot tall. ... I'll call her Churuya.

Churuya asked me a question, "Hi! What's your name?"

I responded, "I am Zim, your creator, Churuya."

"Oh, that's my name?"

"Yes. What else could I call you? Cheese-Brain?"

"~Nyoron."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, CHURUYA'S POV

'I walked along the long rod, as Zim looked into the distance. Then... I slipped, falling... falling... then... I hit a girl's head.

"OW!"

Then, the girl caught me. she asked, "Who are you?"

I responded with, "Hi! I'm Churuya!"

"Tsuruya."

"Cool! We're like... twins, or something!"

"Yeah."

KYON'S POV

"And so, that's my story. How about your's, Kyo?" asked the tiny Tsuruya.

and I simply said, "None of your business."

"~Nyoron."

Me: Behold, the first chapter of the new era!

Zim: **_SHUT UP, HUMAN!_**

Yuki: Please Review.


	12. North High Idol!

Episode 12: North High Idol!

KYON'S POV

The stage was set. Lights were on. It was the 7th annual North High Idol competition. The judges were... Myself, Taniguchi, and Tsuruya.

The competitions began. The first competitor... was Emiri Kimidori.

"Hi. I'm Emiri Kimidori. My song is one of my own invention: Fixed Mind."

Clearing her throat, she began.

"_I'm playing a nonchalant part  
For me, the conclusion is that I'll someday disappear  
And I won't be allowed to remain even in memory_

It seems appropriate  
So I will get mixed up secretly  
That was my life, my artless days

If you have need of me, I don't mind if you call  
Before that, it's just about to regrettably become aware:  
My existence... my existence...

In a different dimension,  
I might have been able to live as a girl  
Ah, I thought it over, but it's no use  
If I were to grow a little used to this world and survey it  
It would probably be far too strange to be efficient  
Process it with a cool head  
Yes, process it with a cool head."

I responded to the song by saying, "Not bad. I kinda like your style."

Tsuruya said, "It is one of the best songs I have ever heard. I can see you as a composer."

Taniguchi... well... didn't give his opinion. He must have somehow been lulled into a small sleep.

Haruhi was next.

"Hello! I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, and my song is 'Bouken Desho Desho' by Aya Hirano!"

Then, she sang.

"_The answer is always in my heart...  
Why is it that I chose you?  
You've been picked by the unstoppable Lady Fate, but  
I believe that just imitating is boring  
You'll be all right!  
I'll only feel the things that I'm feeling_

It's an adventure, right, right!? In a world where truth changes into lies  
I'm going to get stronger because I have a dream, not for anyone else!

Please come with me!  
Look at me--I'm free everywhere I go!  
The present today that became the past tomorrow is a miracle  
I believe you..."

I was first... and amazed. "You sound exactly the same as the original singer!"

Tsuruya said, "I am... speechless! I have no speech."

Taniguchi responded, rather bitterly, "Meh, I heard worst."

and apparently, the last guy was... Zim?

"I am ZIM!! This is my song, 'The Pretender', by the 'Foo Fighters."

Clearing his throat, he began.

"_Keep you in the dark  
You know they all pretend  
Keep you in the dark  
And so it all began_

Send in your skeletons  
Sing as their bones go marching in... again  
The need you buried deep  
The secrets that you keep are at the ready  
Are you ready?

I'm finished making sense  
Done pleading ignorance  
That whole defense  
Spinning infinity, but  
The wheel is spinning me  
It's never ending, never ending  
Same old story

What if I say I'm not like the others?  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

What if I say I'm not like the others?  
(Keep you in the dark)  
What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays?  
(You know they all... pretend)  
You're the pretender  
What if I say that I'll never surrender?

So who are you?  
Yeah, who are you?  
Yeah, who are you?"

All three of us were speechless.

The host, Mikuru, stated to the crowd, "And the winner... of North High Idol... is... ZIM?!"

Zim shouted, "VICTORY!!!"

Voltar, in the crowd, then yelled, "Hey! That's my line!"

Please R&R! Oh and a disclaimer!

None of the songs are mine.

and yes! Two Chapters on the same day!


	13. Zim Eats Waffles! AGAIN!

Episode 13: Zim Eats Waffles! Again!

ZIM'S POV

Ah... another _horrid_ day on Planet Earth. Oh, how I HATE it!

GIR's out with... that fellow with the unfitting name. Red Menace, I think. Yeah. He and his companions are a... curiosity, to say the least. I'll allow them to rule the remainder of the population when I take over. Except Doomageddon. I'll keep him as a curiosity...

Wonder what they do when I'm not keeping an eye on them.

MEANWHILE, GIR'S POV

"Red, I'm going home to watch TV! You wanna come?" I asked my second closest thing to a friend.

"I'd love to, but my ride is going to be here any minute." Red replied.

"Oh, OK, see ya!"

"Take care, Lil' G!"

as I walked to my house... I felt the slightest sense of Deja Vu, and turned... Two people were following me.

"I see you, Mikuru-chan!"

and Mikuru came out of the bushes. So, I walked up to her.

"You got anything good?"

She gave me a SuckMonkey (I like those), and a... spy camera?

"What's the camera for?"

She gave me the cute look and said, "Classified Information, GIR-Kun! but you will have to place it near a nice view of your lunch room, and press on!"

"... Deja Vu. OKAY!"

and then she ran away. My... sweet flower... WHAT?! NO! I already went through this crush phase with Dib's Sister! Gaz...

... anyway, I went to the door... when I suddenly, and with no reason, turned around and splashed my SuckMonkey on... DIB in his invisibility suit- wait, what! We moved to Japan! How'd he find us?!

"If this is about that whole sister incident, I'm really sorry. I guess your sister's techno-organic nature combined with my... frustrations formed a kind of mess..."

Dib raised his hand and said, "Oh don't worry. I forgive you. Would you mind putting this spy camera inside Zim's house so I can... spy on his evil and stuff?"

Again? Another spy camera? Didn't he already try this? Well... "Okay."

and with that, I took HIS spy camera and went inside. I watched as he ran. and I looked at the camera. I placed them on the drawer next to our foodening table, and sat down. If this goes any way like the last time, I was in for another heck of a time.

Zim walked in, sucking on a "Lick-A-Maid" stick...essentially only snack foods and heavily sugared items could be taken into his system.

MEANWHILE, HARUHI'S POV.

Mikuru runs in.

"I got the camera in!"

I responded with, "Yuki, Camera SOS1 online?"

Yuki, on the computer, said, simply, "Check."

"Record Drive?"

"Beginning Record."

"Excellent."

It turned on... to Zim, in his kitchen, in a disguise, reading the newspaper. He was sucking on a "Lick-A-Maid" stick.

GIR, who had put down a bowl, a cartoon of milk and a box of "Krazy Flakes" onto the table, waved at Zim and poured some Krazy Flakes into the bowl.

"Hey, look! They're gonna start making artificial hawks!" Zim announced.

GIR opened up the milk cartoon.

I turned to Yuki and asked, "This is it?"

Yuki simply responded, "The fact is that they may or may not do something worth observing."

GIR then got up and walked away as Zim took a breath. "Well…time to work on my next evil plan!"

Yuki, in her mocking yet monotone voice, said, "See?"

What was Zim up to?

"To cripple the humans by destroying-"

"Guess who made WAFFLES?" GIR said happily, walking inside with a steaming plate of waffles.

"I'm not going to eat that! YOU made it! And you remember what happened last time." Zim snapped.

"New recipe!"

GIR stared at Zim for a short time.

"ENOUGH!" Zim yelled. "I will TRY some already!"

Zim grabbed a fork from off the table and stuffed the waffles into his mouth, chewing for a while. "Well…they don't seem to be making me SICK… okay, GIR! I will eat your waffles!"

"Oh good!"

"And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!"

GIR walked in with ANOTHER plate of waffles and set it on the table, leaving. Zim put the waffle in his mouth.

I said, "YES! This is it!" Then, I felt a bit of Deja Vu. Meh.

"For this plan…" Zim said, mouth full of waffle. "I will create a-"

He swallowed. "…HEYYY…these aren't bad! What's in 'em?"

"There's WAFFLE in 'em!" GIR remarked.

"YOU'RE LYIIIING!" Zim howled. He then composed himself. "Well GIR, I need a break from the talking of my new plan. Let's have some silence for a bit, huh?" He picked up ANOTHER waffle with his fork and stuffed it into his mouth. I just stared. This was going to be a while.

"Hey, you know who came by today while you were gone?" Zim asked.

"Hm?" GIR asked.

"Voltar. He was wearing this... positively horrid-"

For a second, something popped into the kitchen, then quickly popped out of sight. Zim blinked and looked back in the direction it had been. "Huh?"

Then, his eyes widened with horror. "AH! The hideous mutant demon squid has escaped again, and has created an army of cyborg zombie soldiers to do its evil bidding! AGAIN!" He cowered from the approaching army, holding up a waffle like a magic charm. "No! Stay back! Stay back! Nooo!"

In the clawed, armored, insectoid-eyed robots came, taking Zim along with them. One of them glanced at GIR, then walked off, as Nick kept eating more waffles. The SQUID then popped up, grabbing Zim and knocking him clear into the camera, knocking it over to the ground. "ALPO! OWWW!" Zim yelled.

I turned to Yuki with a look like, O_0.

She turned to me with a blank look.

We both shrugged. I wondered what my "guardian angel" was doing.

MEANWHILE, DIB'S POV.

My second attempt to spy on Zim was like the first. Zim eating waffles and being attacked by squids. Meh.

on the screen, Zim held up a plunger-like device and waved it in the air. "Don't make me use this again! I'll do it!"  
_**  
THWOOOOOOM**_! An ENORMOUS dark shockwave rippled through the air and waffles were blown through the air. GIR popped back up, a plate of waffles in his hands as he began to hum a theme from "Lucky Star".

MEANWHILE, HARUHI'S POV

Well... this got nowhere... but we got footage. Hey look! Another tidbit!

On the screen, Zim staggered back into view, cuts and bruises all over his body. "Well, thankfully I was able to reprogram those cyborgs at the last minute and send them off to do horrible things to the humans... again …but NOW for my evil plan!" But then he blinked. "Hey! I forgot what my evil plan was! Oh well. GIR, your waffles have sickened me!" He announced, pointing upwards. "Fetch me the BUCKET!"

GIR said, "Deja Vu."

_**BLARRGGGG**_!!!

Both Yuki and I looked in disgust and horror.

"Oh well..." I said, ejecting the disk, "Least we have something recorded on disk! It wasn't a total loss." I remarked…

So, we put it in a disk copier, and 30 disks with identical data were ejected. We were proud. Zim was about to meet his doom...

_**CRASH**_!

Then the cyborgs came! They broke in through the windows and stomping around, crushing all the disks before they all stomped out of his room. I gaped at the sight of the wrecked disks. I held my fists up, screaming. "_NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!_"

Then Kyon came in. "Sorry I'm late. Detention."

I simply responded, "Whatever."

* * *

Me: Please R&R! (Turns to Haruhi) so, what'd you think?

Haruhi: I didn't do that!

Zim: YEAH! You altered events to an end! (Turns to a bunch of guys with various weapons) **Come on, Boys**!

Me: O_O (Braces himself for a cruel beating.)

* * *

**a note to readers:**

_Invader Haruhi will be put on Haitus until I finish the first chapter of Season 2. But Meanwhile, Invader Haruhi will have a small spin-off:  
_**  
Invader Haruhi: Search for the Holy Grail.**

_Unlike this fanfic, it will be written in a mostly 3rd-Person format, and will take place outside the normal continuity... if there IS any _;)


	14. Parrots and Chaos

Episode 14: Parrots and Chaos

HARUHI'S POV  
I faced off with him. Zim. The Alien. I have to stop him from taking over the world. Zim's smirking at me. Silently mocking me. I know there is something he wants me to know, but- WHAT?!

Suddenly, I'm facing a mirror. Only... I'm different in the mirror's refection. Something I couldn't tell.

I wake up from my sleep. What a weird dream. Oh well... back to sleep.

The next day...

KYON'S POV

We were waiting around when Haruhi walked in.

She said, "Today, we are going to sell pets at a local pet shop."

So, we went to the pet shop. Haruhi took the cash register, Yuki and Mikuru began cleaning, and we looked around, hoping for someone to help. And who walked through that door... was...

"ZIM!" Haruhi yelled.

"Hello, Haruhi-san."

Haruhi then said, "Haruhi-SAN? You don't have the respect enough to use the word '-San.'"

"... I'm sorry, I have a cold. Now, I would like to register a complaint about the Parrot I bought yesterday."

"What's wrong with the parrot?" Mikuru asked.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it." Zim replied. "It's DEAD, that's what's wrong with it."

HARUHI'S POV

Well... I have to stop Zim from getting another parrot. So, I called for a new strategy.

"It's just asleep." I lied.

Zim didn't buy it.

"Look, Haruhi, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now." Zim said.

I rebutted by insisting, "No, no, he's not dead, he's, he's asleep! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue. Beautiful plumage!"

Zim then decided by opening the cage and yelled, "YO, POLLY! I got a cracker for you!"

In desperation, I shoved the cage and said, "There, it moved."

"No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"I never, never did anything..."

Zim then took the parrot out of the cage, and yelled, "YO, Polly?! POLLY?! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!"

Kyon then yelled, "It's FIVE o' clock!"

Zim ignored him, and thumped the parrot's head on the counter, before he threw him into the air and watched him crash to the ground. He then turned to me and said, "Now that's what I call a dead parrot."

I then said, "You stunned him."

"STUNNED?! He's freaking dead! and when I purchased it last week, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk."

Itsuki then said, "It's most likely pining for the Fjords."

Everyone looked at him, thinking, What in the Fail?

Zim turned to me and said, "Look, I took the liberty of fully examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there."

I then said, "Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!"

Zim then said, "'VOOM'?!? Dude, this bird wouldn't 'voom' if you put four million volts through it! It's DEAD!"

Itsuki then said, "I said it's pining."

"It's not pining! It's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet his maker! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT! and I refuse to own a dead parrot."

I then accepted facts, and said, "Well, I'd better replace it, then. "

Yuki then said, "We have no parrots in stock. But we have a slug."

Zim then said, "It talks?"

"It mutters a little."

"WELL, IT'S HARDLY A DANG REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?"

Yuki then said, "No, I guess not. We... have a metal scorpion."

"... Well... alright."

Zim bought said scorpion and walked out in a huff. I then sighed.

ZIM'S POV

I turned to my... associate and said, "I couldn't get a new parrot. I got a scorpionoid, instead."

Handing him my scorpionoid, I said, "He's yours."

He then turned to me and said, "Thank you, Zim."

"You're welcome... Blackout..."

* * *

Please R&R!


	15. Eye of the FYIRSTORM

Episode 15: Eye of the FYIRSTORM

ZIM'S POV  
"I have finally done it! My creations are complete!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Done what, Master?" GIR said.

"I have finally created the first in a new line of Autonomous Robotic Information Retrieval Units!" I said, proud of my work. "Behold, FYIR and STORMIR (Fire and Stormer)."

In front of us were two GIR look-alikes with subtle differences.

"Yay! I have younger brothers!"

"Actually, they're your replacements."

"... what?"

"You heard. GIR, I have no need for your services. Now, leave before I set them on you."

"... but Master..."

"OUT!"

And with that, GIR walked out of the base. I turned to FYIR and STORMIR, and said, "Locate Haruhi Suzumiya. and capture on sight."

They both responded with, "Sir, Yes Sir! I obey!"  


* * *

Later, At Tsuruya's Birthday Party...  


* * *

KYON'S POV

"LATE! **_PENALTY!_** Kyon, you're losing good graces with the Brigade Chief!" were the first words I heard from Haruhi when I got to Tsuruya's mansion.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." was my response, as I thought of ways out of this situation. I looked off at the gate, seeing that she invited most of the student body from our school, as well as some from Ryoo High.

As well as... GIR?

"Oi! Where do you think you're going?" The large man allowing people in asked us, crossing the tree trunks he called arms across his chest.

"I, Haruhi Suzumiya, along with my SOS Brigade, intend to come in to this party and have a good time! Tsuruya-san invited us personally!"

"Suzumiya, Suzumiya, ah, yes. Suzumiya, party of five, please enter the gate." Immediately, the crowd behind us erupted in a frenzy.

"HEY! THAT GREEN DOG CUT!"

"I'M WITH SUZUMIYA!"

Were they referring to GIR? Ah, whatever.

We entered the Establishment, to be greeted by Tsuruya!

"Kyon-kun! Haru-nyan! Mikuru-chan! Yuki-rin! Itsuki-kun! Good to see yas! I'm glad ya came! Now, have a great time, nyoro!" She said with her usual upstart personality.

I couldn't help but feel that someone was watching us...

Later...

I wouldn't lie. I was the only guy in the entire building that didn't drink once. I could tell that everyone was at least a little drunk. Including Taniguchi, who was asleep on the floor. Haruhi kept talking to someone that WASN'T there. and Tsuruya was staring at me lustfully. Yep. I have become the one sane man in the party...

"AHHH! Get those claws off me!"

Huh? What the-

HARUHI?! What were those things dragging her off? Robots?

One of them, with orange and white armor, said, "No need to worry, girl. It'll only last a few moments."

And then everyone that hadn't passed out was looking at the scene. Tsuruya said, "Where they invited?"

"No."

"Well, get them out."

Several security guys came out to get the robots out. Orange-White looked at the other one, Blue-Gray, and said, "What're we going to do, STORMIR?"

Blue-Gray, or STORMIR, then said, "What we always do when faced with impossible odds, FYIR."

Then both of them said, almost simultaneously, "Double UP!"

FYIR, the Orange-and-White Robot, transformed into an arm, a leg, and half a torso.

STORMIR, The Blue and Gray one, transformed into another arm, another leg, and another half-torso.

The two parts combined, becoming a relatively large robot. It then said, "Double Power! FYIRSTORM!"

Okay... I grabbed Haruhi... and yelled, "RUN!!!"

I ran with Haruhi, who also ran. Screaming, by the looks of it. And FYIRSTORM gave chase.

We ran like the wind... but FYIRSTORM ran like a Hurricane AND an Inferno!

How could this get any worst?!

Suddenly, We bumped into... ZIM. Only... this wasn't Zim... He looked... wait... That half-bug guy... Vezper...

"Hello... Kyo-human!"

* * *

Please R&R!


	16. The Return of Asakura

Episode 16: The Return of Asakura

KYON'S POV  
I stood before the beast himself, a hideous hybrid of alien and wasp, with a combined robotic duo standing behind me. Next to me was the god / girl / timeline crack / technological lifeform named Haruhi Suzumiya. You probably already know this, but... anyway...

Vezper then said, "Been a long time coming, human. Vezper has been waiting for this."

I asked, "For what?"

Without answering, he pushed me away and then pounded The Robot two-in-one, FYIRSTORM into most of his base components.

He then stopped, and turned to me, and said, "Vezper has a message for you. An old friend is back." Before taking to the sky.

I pondered what that meant... when I heard an eerily familiar giggle behind me. I turned around... and got the shock of my life. Yuki destroyed her long ago, but my eyes were not tricking me.

Ryoko Asakura stood in front of me.

"Hi there, Kyon-kun. Long time, no see. How are you doing?"

I... ran away with my life. No doubt she'd try and kill me again... wait a second?!

I stopped and looked at her eyes. Instead of the blue eyes that comforted me until her murder attempt, they were blood red, with eye BLACKS instead of eye WHITES.

I then asked, "Who are you?"

She smirked, which led me to panic.

She then said, "Kyon-kun. Don't you remember your old friend Ryoko?"

She was Ryoko... only not Ryoko. I debated whether or not she was... when a knife struck her left shoulder.

"OW!"

She and I turned... to ANOTHER RYOKO?!

"Well. Well. Well. I thought that little push-you-over-the-rail plan actually worked. Pity." The first Ryoko said.

The other Ryoko smirked, then said, "Don't even think a little that you'll have Kyon's blood on your hands, you cheap rip-off."

I was confused beyond all relief. If anybody knows what the heck is going on, please explain it!!

The first one then said, "Well... after the incident that led to my creation, I thought you would be smart enough to stay away."

Well, that explains it.

"Sorry. I guess I'll always be a little nutty."

I could agree.

Then the two began... fighting. A cat-fight. Wow. Over me. Am I really that important?

I then looked around... to see every guy that was at the party, including Taniguchi, was watching the fight, since it was a cat fight. Some guy was selling tickets.

"Ooo! I'll take one!" some guy yelled.

"Me too!" said another.

Well... I wonder-

BOOM!!!!

What the- Oh. They just knocked each other out. and that boom, for all I know, could be heard... I dunno... on the other side of the planet.

MEANWHILE... THIRD PERSON POV

"Say, Professor, did you just hear something?" A random lab guy asked his boss, Professor Membrane.

"No I didn't," Professor Membrane answered.

MEANWHILE, BACK WITH KYON'S POV

"... Well... I'll see the rest of you at school!" I said, walking away.

Meanwhile, ZIM'S POV

I pounded on the keyboard and said, "No! What makes you so dang hard to kill, Haruhi?!"

A voice then said, "You won't be able to kill her now."

I turned to the girl behind me, and said, "I... don't know who you are, how'd you get here, or why you even bothered coming here. But I have a Goddian to kill."

"I want her dead too, Zim." She said. I turned and said, "How did you-"

"I know everything about you. I'm here... to propose an alliance." She said, in a sultry voice.

"An alliance? To what end?"

"To eliminate Haruhi Suzumiya once and for all."

"What is your name, my new ally?"

"They call me, Sasaki."

As she spoke, three more humans appeared.

"This is Kyouko Tachibana, Kuyou Suou, and Fujiwara."

The male, presumably Fujiwara, stepped forward with a very familiar robot. He said, "I found this near the fight. I presume it's yours."

I recognized it, and said, "FYIRSTORM, Single down."

The two immediately transformed back into their separate forms.

I smiled. I had a feeling that Haruhi was in for a shock...

* * *

Please R&R!


	17. Endgame part one: The Dream

Episode 17: Endgame part one: The Dream.

HARUHI'S POV  
I watched hundreds upon hundreds of innocent people destroyed by the Madness around me. Fire scorched everything in it's path. The dead corpses litter the ground in front of me. Under normal circumstances, I would have viewed the corpses as normal humans, which I did not care for. However... this was different.

I looked up at the... monster responsible. Zim now towered over me, destroying everything in sight. Earth was doomed. And it was his doing. He looked down... and changed. His facial features morph into metallic features, His fingers go from three to five, and his spider legs, sticking out of his back, become huge, skeletal wings. Then, he bloats, morphing into a giant, horrible orb of metal, with two pinchers sticking out of the front. He focuses on me.

He speaks, but not like himself. This is a voice I've never heard before, and yet I recognized. "You will give your powers... to ME!"

I woke up. That dream has been haunting me for three weeks. I could not figure out the reason. I looked at the mirror by my bed, and said, "I don't know what is going on... But I need someone to interpret it..."

I went outside to get some milk, hoping it would help me think.

Then, I decided to get my phone and check what was up.

'You have one message.'

I did? I decided to play it.

'My name is Kotana Izumi. Whomever gets this message, do NOT go to North High. I repeat, NOT North High. I- oh... hey... Zim... I, uh, was just talking to- NO! NOT THAT! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!'

ZIM. I don't know what will happen, but I'm- going.... to.... sleep.....

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

* * *

I know it's short, but I didn't have enough time for more complex chapters right now!


	18. Endgame part two: The Revelation

Episode 18: Endgame part two: The Revelation.

KYON'S POV  
... I was at Tsuruya's house, celebrating our Graduation. My time here would be at an end! No more dealing with Haruhi, or Itsuki, either!

I was totally unaware of the chaos that would happen next: He crashed in. ZIM.

"Foolish Party Attendees. It is I, ZIM! Hand over Haruhi Suzumiya, or prepare to meet thy DOOM!" Zim yelled.

Tsuruya did what he said, and pushed Haruhi toward Zim. Haruhi tried running away, but Zim grabbed her leg, and chuckled, saying, "You, GODDIAN, are MINE!"

Goddian? What in the world's a goddian? I didn't know, or have time to answer that. Zim had taken Haruhi!

ZIM'S POV

We had made it all the way back to my base. I shoved Haruhi into a teleporter, and teleported out of there... to my Orbiting Base.

"Well, Goddian, you've FINALLY been captured." I said, smiling.

"What the Hell is a Goddian?" Haruhi yelled.

"Well, a Goddian is an unusual creature, capable of manipulating the very nature of things around him... or her, in your case. The very first Goddians were fully aware of their powers, and used them to promote peace in the universe, end wars, stop disasters... and even stop people from dying.  
But, they learned that they, despite their complete control over everything, were not immortal. Therefore, they modified their powers so that they could be passed to a new generation, which also passed it on to more and more generations...  
But none of them was an Irken... until we learned that the powers became so transferrable, that anybody that had any connection to a Goddian, like being the murderer, would get their powers with a tiny taste of blood. And I want that power... more then anything.  
Irkens can kill. Irkens can conquer. Irkens can do anything they wish with one exception..." I paused in my Explanation.

Haruhi then asked, "And that would be?"

"Well, when you are dead, and I am responsible for it..." I paused... then said, "I will be able to play god."

* * *

Zim as GOD?! What kind of chaos will he be able to wreak? Will Haruhi TRUELY DIE? Will Rick Askley make a comeback? Why did I just ask the last question? Find out NEXT TIME on INVADER HARUHI! Which will not come unless you people R&R!


	19. Endgame part three: The Final Fight

Episode 19: Endgame part three: The Final Fight.

ZIM'S POV  
"Finally!" I yelled, "After so many... months... I will finally have the powers of a Goddian!"

Holding the knife over the head of the young female human named Haruhi Suzumiya, I smiled, as Haruhi's eyes narrowed in sheer horror. She was about to die, and by my... as the humans called it, hand.

"I just want you to know... that had your Goddian powers not been revealed, I would've spared you... but, sadly, your days have come to an end..." I said, my voice dripping in sarcasm. I brought the knife down... for it to be blocked by an unknown force.

"No."

I had no idea who said that, but I wasn't one to give up so easily. I swung the knife at the one who said the 'N' word.

And Yuki Nagato grabbed the knife's blade, blood dripping from her hand, and she said, "I believe... I said... NO."

"You?!" I exclaimed. "How'd YOU find me? I was using all my stealth programs!"

"There are flaws in their programming. This area is under the influence of Haruhi Suzumiya. It is how I detected her. How I found you." Yuki said in her dull monotone.

"You? Stop ME? Ha! Don't make me laugh. It's not like I can BE stopped from killing her."

"You are on Earth simply for Observation. Your plans for conquest are not allowed at this stage."

"You DARE tell me something I already know?" I yelled. Then, I said, Smirking, "I know that I have certain 'Rules' for being an invader. You could even say they're LAWS. But you humans have a saying: Laws are MADE to be Broken."

Swinging the knife at Yuki, I was astonished. Sure, humanoid interfaces are known for agility, but her dodging was amazing.

"STUPID HUMANS! WHY DO YOU PERSIST TO STOP ME?! WHY DO YOU PERSIST?!" I yelled, despite knowing that Humans are fixed on self-survival.

Yuki then raised an arm, and said, "Chop." And just like that, I was hurled back by a huge air chop.

YUKI'S POV

Hostile Irken. Designation: Invader Zim. Status: Possibly Terminated.

I turned to Haruhi Suzumiya, and began to unlock her. When I took off the human vocal disruptors, She yelled, "YUKI! HE'S STILL ALIVE!!"

I turned around, to see Zim, still alive, seeming to be fascinated with a nearby box and his hand. Upon removing his hand, a strange alteration of his personal data was noticed.

"My hand." Zim said, seemingly fascinated. He then turned to me and said, "You see what happens... when an Irken's weak immune system and Haruhi's blood combine with MicroMeds in my system? Now, I can take in any essense I desire, but this mutation, despite its potential, is unstable. My name is Zim. And Zim means conquerer."

What he was talking about, I had no data on...

"You're confused. That's typical for you Humanoid Interfaces. Allow me to demonstrate." Zim said, just before he touched the same, metal box... before he turned into a living mass of Identical Metal, before attacking.

When it was over, I had sustained critical damage. He moved toward Haruhi Suzumiya, placing his hand on her head, and began to ABSORB parts of her data.

When he was done, Haruhi had fainted from loss of energy, and Zim had changed.

Smiling with his sharp-toothed grin, he then said, "Your end is near, Humans. Mankind will fall where it once stood! I..." Pausing, as his once red eyes began to glow, "... am Emperor Zim, Lord of the Future Irken Empire!"

He then warped out of the area, leaving me and Haruhi maimed. We failed...  


* * *

THIRD PERSON POV

Meanwhile, a red visor brightened in the vastness of space, as a dark voice spoke.

"Zim has changed, and begun his own hostile takeover of earth. This message is to be sent to any evil alien life-forms still on earth. Prepare to mobilize. It is time."  


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ZIM'S POV

New York City...

I was busy testing his destructive powers, mostly by changing size and smashing anything in sight.

"MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I am Invincible!" I yelled, before a jet fighter fired missiles on me. My opinion of the attack: "PATHETIC!"

I destroyed all of the military with a single blow.

The same was true for everywhere on Earth. Mankind fought back, and was easily defeated. I managed to destroy most, if not all, of Earth's Population.

I was back to normal size, and about to kill a little female human, when I heard... Haruhi...

"ZIM!!! I'm coming for you!!!"

I turned, just as Haruhi charged at me, evidently healed back to the point when she had full control of her powers. Her eyes glowed blue, as mine glowed red.

"Haruhi." I said, my hatred beginning to rise.

"Don't act so surprised, Zim." She said, "You knew this day would come. I fight you now, not as a simple human that has no intent of being normal, but as a Goddian, willing to kill to save the world!"

She charged at me, to her doom. She missed me by a hair, allowing me to land a blow on the side of her face. She kicked my leg, completely tripping me. Then, she attempted to land a blow on my face, but I rolled over and she broke her hand on the ground.

I took her brief moment of pain as giving me an advantage. Taking it, I landed a kick on her belly, then punched the back of her head. Looking upon my opponent, I yelled, "Haruhi, you fool. I am TEN times as powerful as you. You can't beat Emperor Zim, whom is me."

"I wasn't trying to BEAT you, Zim," Haruhi said, wiping some blood from her mouth, "I was simply allowing a friend I met in the shattered remains of New Jersey to get here."

"Huh?" I looked up to see... Blue armor, Flame decals, Car head... That robot I saw from news transmissions: Megas XLR.

Haruhi took the moment to run, as my PAK detached itself to preserve me.

And the last sight I ever saw was a giant metallic heel.

HARUHI'S POV

The sickening crunch of Zim's bones was the last thing I heard from Zim.

Those days gave me greater understanding of myself. Soon after graduation, Kyon and I hooked up, Itsuki found interest in Ryoko, who apparently moved back from Canada. Mikuru disappeared, with me hoping that I would meet her again. GIR, FYIR, and STORMIR, Zim's ex-Minions, started living with Yuki, who took their moving in pretty good. Zim's remains were sent into the ocean... The Laurentian Abyss, to be precise. That would crush and entomb him, hopefully ending the nightmare that began so long ago. It's finally over...

... Isn't it?  


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Please! R&R!


	20. Haruhi's New Frontier

Episode 20: Haruhi's New Frontier

HARUHI'S POV  
Fancy came to mind when I first looked at it. Tokyoto Collage. Not a bad place.

It had been a full month since Zim's demise. I had been through a lot of readjusting to my old lifestyle. I had decided to go to Collage so I could get my mind off of Zim.

Getting to the Collage, I noted the high amount of people here. Looking around, I noted the lack of alien/time-traveller/esper activity. I actually smiled at this, since I had run-ins with aliens before.

"Well, Suzumiya-San, I guess this is going to be like old times!" I heard a familiar voice say. Turning, I saw Itsuki Koizumi.

"Ituki-Kun! You're going to this collage also?"

"Yes. so is Yuki, Kyon, and Mikuru."

"I though Mikuru disappeared."

"Well, she was on vacation in Burma."

Yuki, Kyon, and Mikuru walked by, then noticed us. The SOS Brigade was back together again...  


* * *

MEANWHILE, ZIM'S POV

I opened my eyes. I was on a big metal table... Somewhere.

Looking into my eyes was the creepy form of the Decepticon Medic, Scalpel. Decepticons have worked with Irkens before, but why they were here was beyond me.

Tallest Red was there, saying, "So... remind me, why are we testing this on Zim?"

Tallest Purple replied, "It _**COULD**_ kill him."

"Would you two shut up?!" Scalpel yelled at them, "I'm trying to examine ze damage."

Scalpel looked around, then said, "Ze damage isn't too bad. Zim has healed remarkably quickly from that stomping. But he still needs these upgrades."

"Well, what do you need."

"Parts." Scalpel looked around, then his eyes narrowed at something. "KILL THAT PILE OF JUNK OVER THERE!"

A ripping, tearing, and screaming sound was heard. I felt machinery being applied all over me.

When it was done, I was a new Irken.

"Zim, You alive?"

"... Yes, my Tallest." I responded. "Is Haruhi Suzumiya still alive?"

"She's been... as the humans call it, SACKED."

"... NO. She's still alive. I can feel it! Haruhi, You will PAY! YOU'LL PAY!"  


* * *

_To be continued in... "Invader Haruhi: The Collage Years", coming soon._  


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Please! R&R!


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